Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
