u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
