Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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