Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Randomize
