So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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