Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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