Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
