first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
