i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
