There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
