i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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