Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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