Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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