dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
