What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
