I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
