Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
