After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
