Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
