Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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