i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
