I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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