If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
