yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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