I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
