Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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