You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
