hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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