If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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