And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
