have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
