I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
