Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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