I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
