i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
