yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
