Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
