This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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