There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
