I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
