im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My dick has a subreddit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
