you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
