yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They have beer where we have blood.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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