I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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