and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
