Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
only if we run a train.
done.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
