Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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