You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
