I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
