how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
