glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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