An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
