did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize