I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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